Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Paper Prince

Since a long time, the hologram of your love, danced in the palm of my hand, while you were somewhere fighting your demons and conquering destiny. I had given up this cold addiction of you, but the warmth of the pain, echoing in my body, reminded me, you were still there. So I followed the trial and it led me to the alley of all your broken promises. I turned around in the corner, to discover the emptiness in your words; all those times, I found nothing. A tear fell from my eye and conjured up a storm in my heart. I slowed down to count the years gone by, but then what difference do simplified numbers make? The past is gone and done with, just as you are. Tell me, what good is a man, who plucked the Heaven's Rose, only to bury it in the Earth's ground, without feeling its passion? What good is the lover, who never left the safety of the harbour, to search for his beloved's soul? And what good is that love, that is taught with words rather than the silence trickling between the breaths?

Like the lost gull at sea, how long, I had circled around your castle's door, waiting to be welcomed and when you let the gates down, I had already sought new lands where I laid down my nest. So farewell, farewell, oh paper prince of mine, for this fairytale book, has come to an end.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Taste of Freedom

Dissipate the smoke of disillusion, the beliefs of wrong and right in the soundless wisdom within you. Open your eyes to the world inside and you will see the stars bow down to build you a bridge that takes you to Him. Let His Love, flow to you like a river across the black netted sky, holding those sparkling diamonds, reflecting the richness of your soul. Let it touch, your very core, till the door of the cage, you call life, breaks opens and you flutter away like the white dove. Fly away, beloved one, for you have always been free.

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Moon Child

Lost, under the misty glow of the full moon, she swayed gently, with the silence of the winter's breeze. The fireflies lightened the strings of her heart, until they began to hymn the songs of His Love. She opened her eyes briefly, trying to adjust to the golden iridescence of His Light, but out of the fear of being mesmerized, closed them before anyone could notice. The thousand lies written on the ancient walls of her temple, played out their tragedies over and over again, until they were all undone and the masks of all the actors fell away to the ground. As each one of them awakened to their own presence, they began to shine like the glittering stars across the night's sky. So who was she to shrink away in the darkness? Each soul is only a mirror of His Eternal Flame. With that, she decided to cast the grey clouds of her thoughts away and shine amidst the stars, afterall she always had been the moon child.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Thy Light

O Allah, You are the Source of All Light,
We all are merely Lanterns, Burning in the Sweetness of Your Eternal Love

Monday, October 31, 2011

Your Soul To Mine

A mist of sadness settled in my eyes since the day, the Earth took you back. Memories played themselves, over and over, till they eventually faded away into the silence of the room. I counted on my fingertips, the infinite ways, I had held you in a bubble of love, close to my beating heart. Your laughter, still lingering somewhere in the corner of my mind, from the last time you spoke to me. My sight, limited by the veil of this humanly plane, failed to find your loving eyes, continuing to watch me grow into the woman I am. I knocked on the empty space, left inside, to trace the physical bond of you and I, but I was only greeted by my own heavy sighs.

Yet somewhere, amidst the angry static of the world, you reached out to me in all the different ways. I heard your soul fluttering in the wings of the birds, encircling the orange sky. I heard your soul in the hustling of the red and yellow autumn leaves, patiently waiting for a new season. I heard your soul roar in the ocean's waves, as it touched the shore of my life. I heard your soul rejoice in the sudden burst of a child's laughter and yet I heard it cry, a thousand tears of separated lovers. I heard you speak to me in a language beyond words.

This lifted the curtain of my mind and I could see the days, when we all were merely unborn bones, burning with the Radiance of His Light and carrying the torches of His Love in a world where everything was created as one. It was this very place where you and I were moulded into these bodies and it is this very place, where you and I shall meet once more, for death, can never tear love apart.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Fall

Angered the man said to his Lord: I carried the burden of the entire world on my back for You, how could You not have been there for me, when I could no longer carry it?
He Softly Smiled: My child, did you not notice I Created the entire ground and covered it with lush garden to break your fall?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I Live

I tasted you, My Lord, somewhere in the corner of my very soul. I had mistaken all the hues of grey of my own existence, to be Your Life Force until You Dawned the Rainbow of Your Love on me.

Disconnected from myself by the fear of my small mind, I had looked into those vacant eyes and twisted smiles, unable to recognize any part of them in me. But between the spaces, when words fell away and You Came Alive in the silence, I became still enough to feel their little hearts skipping with excitement in mine. I touched their crooked hands and felt the Divinity of Your Essence. I gazed at their imperfect faces, to find Your Absolute Perfection Looking back at me.

I saw strands of brilliant, bright, white, light, between the colourless darkness and I recognized each of them to be Yours. I See You, my Beloved, in the changing seasons which we speak of as life. I feel You, my Beloved, in the face of death, that merely gives way to a new life being born. I breathe You, My Lord, with every breath I surrender to this Earth.

I raise my head high up towards the sky, as the wind gently whispers Your Name in my ears and I live, My Lord. And I live.

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Day He Took You

This is a dedication to my grandfather, who carried immense love in his heart

I dreamt of you today,
Holding those weary dreams under the yellow street lights, somewhere in the middle of the road to Heaven,
You laid wide awake in your sleep, while the world around you laid peacefully in their slumber,
I heard the sky thunder as He Called for you to return to His Majestic Kingdom,
You softly smiled with tears in your eyes as you shed this earthly skin,
The angels happily welcomed you onboard the Train of Light to carry you to His Door,
I stood at this life’s gate, gently waving you this temporary goodbye, quietly kissing the afterglow of your love as it left a trial behind,
I watched the ground open its heart to forever hold you close,
It told me not to weep, as your soul had been so kind, it would give more life to the flowers and the trees,
It told me death can never be the end of love, it is just a new start,
With that, I woke up to hear your heart beat in mine and I wiped away a tear as I thanked you for all the thousand silent moments that we spent between our smiles,
And I knew, till we meet again, you would always live inside my heart.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Forever Love - Goodbye

This letter is a dedication to the place inside me that is ornamented with all of your essence, before the shift in my Earth, covers it in the pages of my history.

Like many lifetimes before, I stood outside the temple of your love, wondering if I should climb the stairs leading to the altar of your heart. I wondered, if I should ring the rusted bells to awaken the lost songs of my devotion, that I chanted in your name. The demons of my past, disguised as the rays of hope, beckoned me to come closer. They softly whispered memories in my ears, till my eyes were filled with your loving smiles. Forgetting myself, I took a step forward, but the hem of my soul got tangled in the thorn of the black rose, hiding in your garden. Hurrying to reach you, I tugged to let myself free. Instead, it cut right through, reminding me why my worship of you had always been in vain. Unable to bear the hurt, I wore my armour to hide the pain and turned away.

I decided, to roll a boulder on the space left empty to stop my feelings from fluttering away and turned the volume of my thoughts down, so I could recognize the noise speaking inside of me.

I had always waded around the black and white pool of your carefully woven reality, dipping my toes precariously in the water, which burnt with the cold of your silence. Yet, again and again, I came around, certain, the warmth of my touch against your sacred skin, would melt the defenses, you had set up tactfully against my entry. I was wrong.

My mind, created a special place in your heart where I could forget myself and rise and fall to your breathing. Reality, hit it with a 7.1 and left behind dust for the ground to sweep. Still not convinced, I chased the storm. Breathless, I stood before the sea, watching the sun shining in the waves, wondering, why I had put down my “Fool in Love” card when, all this time, you were waiting to be wooed by the queen of spades. I walked to the places where you once held me in the strength of your arms, while I helplessly cried at our fortune. I stopped there to see if I could find parts of you that were lost in the battle of this separation. Yet, my courage failed each time the waves of sorrow crashed and drowned the golden stream in the darkness. And so I left those places behind too.

Frightened, the child inside me, ran in the distant forest, leaving no trace. The promise of you always finding me when I was lost, had followed me blindly. But by the time, I stopped in the middle of the wilderness, there was no you to be found. Unable to move, I watched the silvery sky cover the aurora of the northern star, which lighted the way back. I was all alone, in a place, I had no sense of navigation of.

I closed my eyes, and went back to the comfort of where I mapped out every inche of your body with the passion of my lips. Back to the place where I laid peacefully on your chest and let you run inside the blood in my veins. In those brief moments, my world was small enough to bounce in the spaces between our breaths. For there was nothing in it, except for the way my body held you within itself.

All this made me wonder, if on some days, your mind could still recall me laughing, as we watched my feet dance in your lap. If you regretted, not wiping the angry tears, I tried so hard not to show you. I quietly wondered, if you would have so easily said goodbye that day, you kissed my cheek before you ran to catch the plane, if you knew that it would be the last time you would see me. Would you have held back from what defined you and given yourself up to let me see you completely naked? Could there ever really be a chance, you understood that I loved you unconditionally, long before you could even think it as possible. I thought, if ever, I’ll become a tear in your eye and follow the path down your face that once my fingertips memorized. I shook my head, knowing somewhere, it had always been me who held out my open arms while you were too busy distracting yourself.

So, I retraced my steps back, to the eternity I felt while I waited for your lips to meet mine, just once. I picked up the heaviness in my heart, I hid behind a broken smile, when they never did and rocked it in my tireless arms. I, silently, held the woman, you left crying on those empty white sheets when you couldn't bare to expose your soul. I watched you peacefully lying in your own world, never really moving when I called out for your hand each time I was drowning.

I let myself drown this time alone, until my lungs gasped for air and I learnt to paddle. Soaked in your reminiscence, I wrapped all I could find of you in a piece of paper, torched it with the fire of my love and let the wind carry the ashes from my hand.

I let go, of ever wanting you to want me, in all the ways I had dreamt of wanting you. I let go, of trying to find a soft place to rest my head on, with you. I let go, of the desire to become the center of your universe, like you had been for me. This time, I decided to just let you go altogether and love you just as who you are, without ever looking back.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Dedication to the Phoenix

Why pretend that you are the broken winged bird, when He Created you from the ashes of Heaven and raised you as the Phoenix.
Why pretend that you are the wounded child, afraid from all, when you are the warrior carrying the Arrow of His love and the Message of His Peace.
Why pretend to hide and think the Universe can not see you, when each place is illuminated with the gold of your aura as you walk in.
Why pretend you stumble for words to express your beauty, when your speech is soft as the blossoming rose and intoxicates the depths of the human soul with His Longingness,
Why pretend you are the fragment of dust in the wind, when you are the very Earth revolving around the axis of His Divinity.
So why do you pretend?
You already know He Came Down when the call of your tears shook His Mighty Throne,
He Carried you all the way in His Loving Arms and Set you to sail in the Ocean of Light, until you will return home to Him.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Your Reflection

O my Beloved, my Love,
Set my soul ablaze with the Fire of Your Passion, that this wick of life, burns away in Your Calling,
Drown me, in the Ocean of Your Beingness, that I may forever swim in the knowing, that it is You who has engulfed me completely,
Carry me, my Dearest One, down those forgotten roads where none live, that I may become the whispering Winds of Your love, and breathe life into those lands,
O my Beloved,
Fill this empty vessel, that you hold gently in Your Loving Hands, till my body is drenched in the Essence of Your Fragrance and I am brought forward in this world as a Reflection of You.

Letting go

Surrender the weapons of your battles, for there is nothing in this world to be won,
Put down the guard you have constructed, for the only enemy is your raging mind,
Crumble down completely to dust, for it is the only time you will be reborn,
Allow the hand of destiny to move you, for it is the star guiding you to the harbour of your own radiance,
Fall away from all what you believe, for it is the lost seeds that grow as a garden of love,
Release the fear that has gripped your soul, for light can never shy away from darkness,
Then once you have cross the field of knowing and have entered into nothingness, that's where you will find Him, patiently waiting for you.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

I Am

I am the northern star, guiding the lost sailor's ship, back to the comfort of the harbour,
I am the highway, spread across the open sky, giving way to the dance between the moon and the sun,
I am the pillars of the Earth, holding the ground strong, to carpet each step walking away,
I am the wind, blowing through the land, offering no past and holds no future,
I am the smile, on the lover's face, upon seeing the light of her Beloved,
I am the pearl, hidden in the depths of the ocean, shining without care in the heart of darkness,
I am the call, of the morning song, softly awakening a world that lies sleeping,
I am the spring, blooming in every petal of the rose as she comes to life,
I am an intricate part of all that has been created,
Because everything is Created as an extension of You.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Infinity

The jester, knitted fairytales of woes for my heart to carry, until it turned into a black impenetrable stone, that I deemed as my precious jewel. It was only when Your Love blew through me, that I embraced the flame raging in my heart, shivering in Your Passion. It divulged me in a nameless place, where I breathe myself into You. All this while, I saw myself separated from all, until the Glow of Your Light pierced through the fog of darkness. All those ways, I deceived myself to be, unraveled at Your Feet and I looked up to see myself as an infinite perfection of You and You Alone.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Wheel Of Love

O mankind, you who seek your Creator,
Break your heart open, to allow it to flutter like the dove, before it takes flight,
Quiver like the Autumn leaves, waiting patiently, to kiss the ground,
Sweep the dust of your broken dreams under the rug of surrender, until each chimney is wiped clean of your will,
Swirl around in madness until your ears are only filled with the music of His Calling,
O you seekers of the truth,
The path that leads to God is easy,
It is the only one which is glorified and basked in love.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

His Love Touched Me

I hid under the sand, covering myself with rocks, so nobody could ever find me,
He Gave me Roots and Grew me as a tree, holding the blossoming flowers, that drew every sweetness present towards me,
I turned myself into the mountains, keeping myself strong and steady, so nothing could ever move me,
He Opened me up and Allowed a river to flow right through me, that gave birth to every path it turned on,
I lifted my wings and flew away as the birds, so nothing could ever follow me,
He Created the sky as my umbrella, so that I may be sheltered in its hands,wherever I choose to go,
I pulled the night's robe over me, completely certain that nothing could see me,
He Lit the moon so that I may light up, all that laid below me,
Everything I did, I saw Him Living and Growing inside me,
I held on to fear, until I froze to the point where my hands and knees were no longer part of my system,
He came down from His Throne and with His One Touch of Love, I've forgotten who I am and now I choose to dance in His Name, for all eternity.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

My Pen's Confessions

It was when the black birds pulled the night's curtain over the sky that the moon, unveiled her radiant self to the Earth. I sat in her trance, while my pen bounced across the pages of my journal, trying to reconnect to the ghosts that haunted, the empty alleys of my troubled mind.

I gently fell in, like November's first snowflakes and saw winter set in your eyes. I painted my heart, a bright gold, to remind me of the sun, as I crossed over your icy words. In standing before you, I saw clouds of hope floating away from your face. Your barren lips, anchored to the bottom of your blackened heart, whispered sounds without any sensation of life in them.

I smiled at you, secretly hoping, somewhere you kept me alive in your body, where I once touched you. I searched high and low till the point I lost myself in the strands of your soul, and found that it was already filled with a new world that laid far beyond the reach of my comprehension.

So, I looked up at the sky as the rain poured down my face. I quietly turned away, hiding my saddened heart in the clasp of my little hand. My feet, led me on, while somewhere on the other side, the flame of the love that burnt for you, softly died. I crawled on my knees into a cave, to keep myself warm from the changing winds. For a long time, I watched the sun in my heart, silently grow cold. Not being able to feel the warmth any longer, I gathered myself and left. When I gazed ahead, I was still under the majestic moon, as my pen bounced across the pages of my journal.

Friday, September 23, 2011

All The Things He Forgot

I think he forgot, the love that danced in my eyes for him,
I think he forgot, the sleepless nights we spent laughing away,
I think he forgot, how my lips kissed the tips of his fingers,
I think he forgot, the weight I carried for his safe passage,
I think he forgot, the million conversations scattered between us,
I think he forgot, how we ran freely under the clear blue skies,
I think he forgot, the heat of my hand in his,
I think he forgot, the warmth he felt when I held him close to me,
I think he forgot, the thoughts that rolled back and forth between us,
I think he forgot, the broken dreams I wiped away from his eyes,
I think he forgot, the smile on my face as I watched him breathe,
But I mainly think he forgot me.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I Found Me

The day you left, with the door of our house ajar and the handle down, I locked you in my heart, hiding the key, so nobody could find it in a million lifetimes. I silently talked to the pale moon about you, as the stars quietly gazed down. I left behind a trial of little notes with pieces of me all over the place, so you could always find them, incase I was gone too long. Even in your absence, you were always here, running errands in my mind.

I, only, remembered you were gone when my solitude really began to feel like mine and the empty room cried out, like the lonely wolf's howl, in the darkness. It was then, the echoes of footsteps stopped and I knew nobody was coming. It was then, those little notes became dust in the wind. I had forgotten to breathe, because I undoubtedly thought, my body was alive only with your breath. Angry bouts of sadness, fought their way down my cheeks until they fell away to the floor.

Startled, I woke up with forever, etched across my mind but decided it was too late now, so kissed love permanently goodnight. In the middle, when dreams laid themselves upon me, I stretched out my hand across the bed for you, but found my slow-motioned imagination, taking me down memory lane over and over again, until my pillow was soaked in your remembrance.

I ran to look for where you were, but all the streets on the map had changed their names. So I stopped in disillusion before deciding to return. It was that very moment, I mysteriously ran into myself and began to fall in love. It finally, gave me the courage, to open the cage of my heart and give you flight. The courage to breathe and to embrace, all I saw. It was then, I was able to raise my head up high and walk around like a giant with baby toes, parading everywhere, my new found treasure. I walked, until I stood before our house and invited myself in, to a new home.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Conversion

I release my soul to the clouds above, so that it may dance with the moon, radiating a glimpse of Your Majestic Light,
I breathe my spirit into the summer wind that blows, so that it may carry me through the bright flowers that reflect Your Grace,
I whistle the songs of the sparrows that greet the morning sun, so that I may spread as Your Warmth,
I flow through this life's stream, gently rushing to meet the ocean of Your Vastness,
I raise my body to the sky, only to fall to the ground as the rain, so that I may bloom as the trees, standing firm in Your Strength,
I let go of every part of myself, so that I may become a Part of You.

Friday, September 09, 2011

Blue Birds

They talked about the crookedness in her walk, as she hurried past them. But she didn't care. She was too busy looking at the blue birds in the sky.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

The Awakening

All these pink, blue, purple dreams, sleep peacefully away in my eyes. The voices in the distance, sing them a lullaby, under the big yellow moon as I make my way through the open fields of wonder. Oh how beautiful is the night's sky, holding the million laughing stars,glistening with delight. I lift my hands up to hold the world, and the sun cries out a single drop of its gold, warming me from the top of my head, to the bottom of my toe. Running to the edge of infinity, I return but with only my heart's cup full of love and my mind empty of its thoughts. It is there that I finally stop, as I gaze in awe at Your True Grace. It is there, that I lay these dreams before You, so that I may awaken in Your Loving Presence, as who You Want me to be.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Changing Tides

Amidst the sea of separation, I swam to meet its shore, where you stood lovingly before me, after years of numbness. Somewhere, divinity washed over you and transformed your face in the changing tides. All the ways, I thought I knew you, trickled down into the sands of times till the waves swept them back into the abyss of the deep blue ocean. Back to where we both were born, out of the single cell that knew no hurt or boundaries. To the place where I was you and you were I. And we shall, from now onwards, forever live there as one, once more.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The River

I sat down the river bank next to my Beloved. In the silence, He spoke: "Watch as she roars forward, allowing nothing to stop her as she makes her way to her ultimate destiny". Not understanding, I turned to Him and said: "But You are found in the silence of our souls. She moves away from You by creating so much noise and distraction. How can she make her way to You?". He Laughed and said: "O My divine child, inside she is as silent as the drop from which she took birth. Inside, she carries with her all life force that runs through you. But you must be willing to step in the water and risk drowning to know what really lies beneath the fearful waves." He Put His Arms around me and lifted me so that I may see as He Pointed: " Notice how she twists and turns, narrows and widens, bends and breaks, goes over and under all the spaces I Have Created in her path." I turned away to look as He said: " She is only joyful to do what I have Created her to do". As He put me down, my eyes widened with wonder. "What is her purpose?" I asked. He smiled and said: "To flow until she breaks her bank, merge into the vastness of the ocean, and allows herself to relinquish as she joins it in oneness." With that, He left me alone next the the river, to savour her journey.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Heart's Calling

O my Lord, teach me to scribble my pen, in Thy Glory
O my Lord, empty this heart’s cup, to fill it with Thy Love
O my Lord, move these feet to dance, to the rhythm of Thy Music
O my Lord, strengthen these arms, that they may carry Thy Will
O my Lord, grow this tree of life, to bear the fruits of Thy Name
O my Lord, chip these stories away, that I may become a vessel of Thy Light
O my Lord, embrace this body so that I may dissipate into Thee
That I may fade to become Thee.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Story of Us

Footsteps, slow me down, as I turn to walk away from the place I once called home. Reminiscing the comfort of your voice, one last time, before I close this door behind me, for good. Your words always dragging with the lies that you casted over me, offered no condolences for the time that I wasted daydreaming. Your body, forever, chained to your mind's prison, kept you hidden from your own vulnerability. Time and time again, vows were made, only to be swept into history.

Sick of this endless carrousel, I sat down, with the story of us. I ripped out every line and paper I could find until it was all undone.

Now, I've left with nothing except for my bag full of bitter sweet memories. I leave behind all for you to build upon so you can have a place called home.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Back to Reality

I crashed into the Earth with heavy wings that could no longer support your weight. I held onto my beating heart, until your hand reached into me and tore it out. I bled to the ground, waiting to be healed from your cupid's arrow that ripped through my soul. Even Mother Nature refused refuge, angered at my foolish love for tilting the axis of the world, just to hear the angels sing your name. So now I'm alone. And the buzzing noise is quietening down in my head, as I close my eyes to who I am.

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Choice to Freedom

The door I chose to open, in search of my life to begin, led me in the middle of nowhere, stripping me off my past and offered no glimpse of my future. The path I chose to follow, to simplify my journey’s options, presented a million opportunities, fluttering their wings all around. I chose to walk the road of the most resistance and found myself bowing to the pure surrender of it all.

Amidst all this Divine Chaos, the mind failed to understand, what the heart already knew. And my heart knew, that I will be found, by my own radiant light, that shines, when all else is covered in darkness. It knew, that each end is only the seed of a new beginning. And in every moment, I die, only to be brought back to life, with my single breath. I am forever being born, in a world that, forever, stands still.

So this time, I am releasing the burden of choosing. I will flow only where, this river called life, takes me. I will keep my heart open, to all this glorious madness, to absorb myself in its beauty, that I may, finally, break free of whom, I believe this woman to be.

Call me love

I'm throwing up my hands.  I don't want this war Don't let me leave Stop.  I'm throwing up my hands.  Waving the White Flag ...