Saturday, December 18, 2010

Delirium

Darkness swirling inside me, growing an inch every second of the day, by the bitterness you choke me with. Twisting and turning to become a blackhole of hollowness as I cringe and wince with the burning hate I feel for you.

Sputtering out words with no meaning. Just talking, talking, talking, deliriously. Temperature rising to the maximum, as my heart freezes over, turns an icy blue then finally springs out of order and all this while you watch without a care. Silent, as the sea, pulling me down with your current of insensitivity, leaving me to drown in my own wave of emotions. There I watch you stand alone, the impenetrable wall, to whom a thousand souls have died, crying out to. Unmoved, unconcerned, you simply walk away than to indulge yourself in these foolish games of love. My, foolish games of love.

So let this fact be the very beginning of our end once more. How can you, the stoic, chance crashing into my world, at the expense of your own safe world falling apart.

All dreaming ends

There were days when I dreamt coming home to you would be like falling in a bed of roses, finally having a soft place where I could rest. But I woke up to find the thorns, cut through my heart and the love I had in it for you, was slowly bleeding away. What got left behind was the ugly bruise, I so desperately tried to hide with wishful thinking.

I dreamt you as my soldier of love, my guardian who'd steady me as the world goes crumbling down. But I woke up to find when it all came crashing, the angry shards ripped through who I was until I lost sense of all feeling and fell to the ground hurt.

I laboured away my day and night to build you enchanted castles in the open sky with these grains of sand, so that we may spend our life as one. Believing, the love in my eyes would strengthen you as you'd reach to lift me up from the ground. But your hand never came and I was scorched and blinded by the sun as I looked up to find you.

And so my dreams of finding a hero ended as I looked around to find myself as alone as I always had been.

Call me love

I'm throwing up my hands.  I don't want this war Don't let me leave Stop.  I'm throwing up my hands.  Waving the White Flag ...