Even memories die

I read, all our memories die with us,
They're only alive, 
With the people we shared them with,
Yet, ours died way before either one of us did,
I seem to be the only one left, 
Cupping them gently in my hands,
I still remember your eyes,
When you said I was beautiful,
Running to tell you, "what's up"
My hands moving faster than my mouth,
Your nods, 
Even when you didn't understand.
I, now, in your absence
Still sit next to you within the hospital walls,
Remembering all those times you held my hand,
Stroked my hair, 
Until all the blood was out.
I see you standing behind the window,
Refusing to sit,
Until the machines stopped whirring.
Telling me, we will get through this.
I am. 
Do you know,
You were the only one in the whole world
With whom I felt completely like me?
Ran incredibly wildly free.
Silence has comfortably settled inside me,
Ever since the day you really went away,
Seems like I have nothing left to say,
But the lakes and the trees still talk to me.
Do you know of all the wondrous things I have seen,
Of the crazy adventures and the beauty?
Do you know my entire world will completely die with me?
Do you know, 
Letting you go is still the hardest thing I've ever done?
Loving you made me so so brave,
But losing you has made me fearless,
The hand of fate has already struck,
What more is there left to lose?
Except only me, this time.
I keep my door open now,
For those who wish to leave.
Let them come.
Let them go.
There's no consolation they can offer me. 
I always pray your side of the world is filled with grace,
Like mine, has been filled with repentance, tranquility, mercy and a whole lot of love,
All the things that make it gentle, 
As I'm slowly starting to forget your voice and face 
"But even if I could go back, I wouldn't belong" - C.Z

But it isn't love

Tell people you love them 

Before it's too late, 

But a bucket full of water 

Will not douse a house burning down.

Fleeting time is not a friend, nor a savior. 

No amount of pulling the clock's hands apart,

Will ever stop it from running out. 

Galaxies are forever collapsing,

The death of stars, inevitable.

How could I have ever thought we stood a chance.

Our goodbye was fated in our first hello.

Yet, I have learnt to love you in transitions. 

The laughter in your eyes as you rode by my side, 

The cold wind on our cheeks 

under the fiery New Year's sky. 

The subtle soft sighs.

You were a feeling I did not know could exist

and neither was I ever prepared for

I was always torn between wanting you to stay,

And somehow hoping you would leave.

Now, you are neither here, nor have you gone away.

I don't know what it is that you do to me, 

All my wounds come up to breathe,

But more than that,

You soften my rough edges. 

Pull back the curtain of darkness 

So that I can soak up the light. 

Put my fears to sleep.

Let me rest my worries. 

Every world that I had ever built 

Came stumbling down 

Under the intensity of your gaze. 

I was always seconds away from you owning me.

With all the space between us,

You still touched me.

You still changed me.

But you have never said that you loved me. 

Neither do I know for it to be true.

But I know this to be true. 

In a world where people's hearts get broken, 

Your existence somehow had a way to mend mine.