Monday, July 21, 2008

Good morning, Sunshine!

So here I am again. Breaking promises to myself. I wasn’t suppose to be shedding tears but that place, where we made a thousand memories, missed your existence terribly and somehow along with those memories it witnessed the tears as they fell. Forgive me for my weakness, if that’s what you call it. There were too many emotions that were anew to me but, finally, I’m letting you go.

You were a hope for me. A constant reminder that I deserved so much better than what I had bargained for. You were that single burning flame in the darkness, my own love had drowned me in. Your laughter defied the sound of the sadness perpetuating inside me. You were the sunshine, greeting me, after the long silent night.

You gave this motionless body, a soul to feel life, touch it and feel divine; your divinity. The crystal clear glance that you laid upon me washed the sins from my scars to restore purity and innocence to this unholy flesh of mine.

And there you were, always silent, yet your voice echoed through every inch of me. And I heard you, I came, I stumbled, I fell hard, I loved and then I lost... only to be born again. So here I am again. Alive. With a heart filled with love and a face full of smiles, yet somewhere inside me, my wings are still broken and I’m learning to fly… but I’ve been changed by you.

Forget Me Not

Step inside my world, you’ll find pieces of me thrown across the floor, crushed under your weight. You come around here knocking, knowing how the door was torn down and how the path remained open for you to rob what you wanted. You took what you felt was rightfully yours and wasted it away, leaving me barren. How you chose to take the parts of me that made you feel beautiful. How conveniently you tossed aside what was broken and ugly residing inside. But don’t you forget that was even me.

Ode

Explain to me the difference between a delusion and reality. Explain to me, why I’m building up fantasies around you, when I know you’ll never be mine. Why does the sight of you make my body tingle with happiness? Why do I want to kiss your forehead and feel like a woman? Why do I find myself wanting to fall into pieces, just so you can put me back together? Do you know the way you break down my defenses without even trying? You leave me feeling stripped of my skin, looking at the core of me. The vulnerability you make me feel is frightening yet it arouses me. You evoke feelings in me which I thought I had lost and once wanted so much.

Why do I want to cover you in a wave of passion and just bind you in my world? Just hold you for a brief moment and pretend you’re mine forever.

I wanna keep watching how beautiful you look when the sunlight hits your brown eyes. See you laugh, even though its not with me, but see your precious lips curl up and kiss your dimples. I wanna walk with you in silence and listen to what you are saying to me. Are you saying something? But will you risk it all to stand at the edge of your world to accept what is really mine? Or will our lives collide and shatter into fragments which we won’t even recognize and forever live to regret…

Call me love

I'm throwing up my hands.  I don't want this war Don't let me leave Stop.  I'm throwing up my hands.  Waving the White Flag ...