This is me. The entity of infinite perfection. The benchmark of idealism. The paradigm of supremacy. The world acknowledges my existence, without my appeal. It cherishes the land I tread on, lingering on my scent. Echoes of my presence disrupt cynical hearts, illuminating their blackened aura. My mortality galvanizes craving, in the most selfless beings, as they struggle to become me. The splendor of my appearance breeds envy in all individuals. Nothing can compare to the beautiful life that I live.
Then whose reflection do I see? A distorted life splintered across the image. The sensation of radiance lost, with shades of grey engulfing all hues. Loneliness settled comfortably on the heavy sighs, as salt water rolls away to the ground. A desperate plea for a savior, to resurrect a dying soul, goes unheard by deaf ears. Haunting nightmares induce fear to live freely, while shadowy figures constantly point accusing fingers at me. Sanity seems to be slipping away, into total madness, as marks are engraved in the skin. A dark dreary world seems to have trapped me in its realm.
I seem to be caught up in fleeting illusions, as the hand of the clock moves on. I get pushed through a variety of joys and heartaches, as those illusions stamp their presence on me. I’ve been longing to break away, from the chains that have bounded me to this susceptible mind frame. The inability to distinguish, what I have lived and what I imagine, heats up the emotional turmoil brewing inside my head. But like other emotions lost, pain and pleasure will soon fade into each other, as I become numb to the world, to my body and my mortal existence.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 06, 2005
The Free Spirit
I move with the summer breeze
Once was trapped but now i have been set free
Sunrises and sunsets no more matter to me
I reached a higher place which you yourself 1 day will see
No more to run thru heaps of leaves
No more to run thru the flowers or beside the trees
I now run in your heart and mind
I run on the paths which u someday will find
This world is my carousel
Round and round i go on it as many times as i will
I dont have tomorrow i dont have today
I walk this earth without knowing every passing day
Shrouded in white a naked body somewhere lies
A girl sleeps peacefully while around the world cries
As i walk over there to see
I realized that girl whose lying quietly is me
I remember the life i lived before
Everything has changed nothing is like that anymore
The mold of clay which with me was brought alive
Is now lying dead as time couldnt be defied
The lips that once spoke now are hushed
The hands that once stroked now of life are flushed
The lips that once smiled now are still
The hands that once held now no more will
The legs that once walked will forever lie
The chest that once breathed will never again sigh
The eyes that once shined will now forever stare
Into nothing but emptiness this lifeless glare
I always believed to see another day
Never thought this clock would just tick away
Dear Angel you have by God's Will claimed my soul
Death will forever linger where once was my life's hole
So take my body down to my grave
Where i'll be buried would be my final resting place
My real home though away from light
But at least no more to worry about that Earthly flight
Do not cry for me i will never return
Even with one tear in your eyes my soul with pain will burn
Keep me alive in your memories and heart
May be that way we wont seem this far apart
Once was trapped but now i have been set free
Sunrises and sunsets no more matter to me
I reached a higher place which you yourself 1 day will see
No more to run thru heaps of leaves
No more to run thru the flowers or beside the trees
I now run in your heart and mind
I run on the paths which u someday will find
This world is my carousel
Round and round i go on it as many times as i will
I dont have tomorrow i dont have today
I walk this earth without knowing every passing day
Shrouded in white a naked body somewhere lies
A girl sleeps peacefully while around the world cries
As i walk over there to see
I realized that girl whose lying quietly is me
I remember the life i lived before
Everything has changed nothing is like that anymore
The mold of clay which with me was brought alive
Is now lying dead as time couldnt be defied
The lips that once spoke now are hushed
The hands that once stroked now of life are flushed
The lips that once smiled now are still
The hands that once held now no more will
The legs that once walked will forever lie
The chest that once breathed will never again sigh
The eyes that once shined will now forever stare
Into nothing but emptiness this lifeless glare
I always believed to see another day
Never thought this clock would just tick away
Dear Angel you have by God's Will claimed my soul
Death will forever linger where once was my life's hole
So take my body down to my grave
Where i'll be buried would be my final resting place
My real home though away from light
But at least no more to worry about that Earthly flight
Do not cry for me i will never return
Even with one tear in your eyes my soul with pain will burn
Keep me alive in your memories and heart
May be that way we wont seem this far apart
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
She
As I lie, under the darkened blanket of the night, my heart yearns for what the eyes do not see. Silent screams, trapped between the walls and my body, failing to vanquish, as unspoken words trench into deep desires. Distance torments every inch of me, while memories force my eyes shut. There, she comes alive once again. The way she moves in and out, playing twisted games of love. She’ll take me down to explore the dimension of her being, only to shut me out as I reach in to touch her. Heightened emotions come crippling down to the gloominess of solitude. Yet, she lingers around, never really moving out of my sight. She flaunts her innocence in her eyes and her smiles, making me want her more. I want to surround her in a wave of passion, to teach her unconditional devotion. I want her within my sphere of protection, to secure her celestial body besides mine. I want her feeling the warmth of my trust, to rekindle her dying flame.
Doesn’t she know how much I need her? She always seems to stray so easily from me. I run through a maze of confusion, chasing her at every corner. But when I turn, she’s no where to be seen. My world quickly falls to despair, breaking down every part. Then, like a lost child restored to his mother, her subtle presence awakens in me a stream of blinded joy. The flow of her soft words and caresses trample my fears away. Temptation, to entrap her, pierces through me. Even though she’s aware that she belongs to me, the lust of declaring her, forever to be mine, is strengthened with every look. The beauty of her face brings comfort to my soul. The sweetness in her voice brings harmony to my world. I can’t tolerate the thought of her slipping through my hands.
Yet, I do not hold on to her. I want her free from the shackles; to run where she wills. To share her laughter amidst whom she wills. She’s aware she belongs to me, isn’t she? She’ll come back. She always does. These are her mindless games. Till then, I lie under the darkened blanket of the night, as the heart yearns for what the eyes do not see. Silent screams, trapped between the walls and my body, failing to vanquish, as unspoken words trench into deep desires…
Doesn’t she know how much I need her? She always seems to stray so easily from me. I run through a maze of confusion, chasing her at every corner. But when I turn, she’s no where to be seen. My world quickly falls to despair, breaking down every part. Then, like a lost child restored to his mother, her subtle presence awakens in me a stream of blinded joy. The flow of her soft words and caresses trample my fears away. Temptation, to entrap her, pierces through me. Even though she’s aware that she belongs to me, the lust of declaring her, forever to be mine, is strengthened with every look. The beauty of her face brings comfort to my soul. The sweetness in her voice brings harmony to my world. I can’t tolerate the thought of her slipping through my hands.
Yet, I do not hold on to her. I want her free from the shackles; to run where she wills. To share her laughter amidst whom she wills. She’s aware she belongs to me, isn’t she? She’ll come back. She always does. These are her mindless games. Till then, I lie under the darkened blanket of the night, as the heart yearns for what the eyes do not see. Silent screams, trapped between the walls and my body, failing to vanquish, as unspoken words trench into deep desires…
The Essence Of Parenthood
This must be the joy of parenthood. Having the children whine about how dreadful their lives are, how suicidal and upset they are, thanks to your concern for them. Does every single child just concentrate on what they want? What happens to those parents, who spend every second of the day, trying to bring the smallest happiness in their child’s world? Aren’t they just left alone to cry in the night, and pray for something better? What about all those lovable childhood memories. Are they just washed away with the past?
Remember, the time your father got you a doll house, in spite of your mother protesting it to be too expensive to afford. Remember, he said, “It doesn’t matter. It’s for my daughter.” What about the time, he got you toys, which were heavy on the money flow. Just those happy smiles and excitement, would suffice no matter how hard times were. Somehow, almost everyday was Christmas. You instead ran up to him after 2 days, demanding for new ones, forgetting ever to appreciate what you were given.
What about when you were ill? The time your mother sat next to your bed. Remember, she teased you about not talking? You burst into tears, thinking she was picking on you. What about those tears, which fell from her eyes, watching you cry? The way she leaned over to console you. You instead covered your face, still thinking no one cared.
What about all those times, when they just wanted to know that they were loved, and their efforts appreciated? Remember, your demands were met, without you ever having to say them? You instead sat locked away in your room, listening to angry music, not willing to talk.
What about all those times, they wanted to be there and you pushed them away? Remember, they scolded you, just so you could be a better person tomorrow. You instead labeled them as hating everything that you did, breaking the rules further, and telling your friends that they didn’t understand.
Why are there so many scenarios of screaming and shouting? Why is it so hard to listen for 10 minutes to what our parents’ say, when they heard us every second of our day? Why are we the ones to cause them pain, when they were the ones who wiped our tears away?
Strange, how we are so empathic to other people’s tears and indifferent to our parent’s; then claim to be good listeners. Strange, how we put them away, like a forgotten book on a shelf, and cherish strangers; then claim to value relations. Strange, how we are overly sensitive and defensive beings around them, but accept the hardest criticism from the entire world; then claim to take advice. Strange, how we find it easy run to the arms of people, who declare they love us then leave, but are hesitant to hug the people who were there all our lives; then claim to be committed.
No matter who walks in our lives; a friend, a lover, a spouse. No one can ever replace them. Who else would carry you in their womb, enduring all sorts of pains? When you were too weak to walk, lifting you in their arms. When you stumbled, catching you so you don’t fall. Feeding you, clothing you, teaching you, and words fall short of what they did. But we are too selfish to understand. Only when we carry a child of our own, will we comprehend the true meaning of what our parents sacrificed on our behalf.
Remember, the time your father got you a doll house, in spite of your mother protesting it to be too expensive to afford. Remember, he said, “It doesn’t matter. It’s for my daughter.” What about the time, he got you toys, which were heavy on the money flow. Just those happy smiles and excitement, would suffice no matter how hard times were. Somehow, almost everyday was Christmas. You instead ran up to him after 2 days, demanding for new ones, forgetting ever to appreciate what you were given.
What about when you were ill? The time your mother sat next to your bed. Remember, she teased you about not talking? You burst into tears, thinking she was picking on you. What about those tears, which fell from her eyes, watching you cry? The way she leaned over to console you. You instead covered your face, still thinking no one cared.
What about all those times, when they just wanted to know that they were loved, and their efforts appreciated? Remember, your demands were met, without you ever having to say them? You instead sat locked away in your room, listening to angry music, not willing to talk.
What about all those times, they wanted to be there and you pushed them away? Remember, they scolded you, just so you could be a better person tomorrow. You instead labeled them as hating everything that you did, breaking the rules further, and telling your friends that they didn’t understand.
Why are there so many scenarios of screaming and shouting? Why is it so hard to listen for 10 minutes to what our parents’ say, when they heard us every second of our day? Why are we the ones to cause them pain, when they were the ones who wiped our tears away?
Strange, how we are so empathic to other people’s tears and indifferent to our parent’s; then claim to be good listeners. Strange, how we put them away, like a forgotten book on a shelf, and cherish strangers; then claim to value relations. Strange, how we are overly sensitive and defensive beings around them, but accept the hardest criticism from the entire world; then claim to take advice. Strange, how we find it easy run to the arms of people, who declare they love us then leave, but are hesitant to hug the people who were there all our lives; then claim to be committed.
No matter who walks in our lives; a friend, a lover, a spouse. No one can ever replace them. Who else would carry you in their womb, enduring all sorts of pains? When you were too weak to walk, lifting you in their arms. When you stumbled, catching you so you don’t fall. Feeding you, clothing you, teaching you, and words fall short of what they did. But we are too selfish to understand. Only when we carry a child of our own, will we comprehend the true meaning of what our parents sacrificed on our behalf.
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