I wish you love

 
I saw your doppelganger one day. I looked twice to see if it was you. The man was playing with his little daughter, his wife in a burqa by his side. I looked at them, and only a duaa came from my heart that you find your soulmate and build your own family. I wish that for you - Well maybe not the burqa avenger, but the love and security of belonging somewhere. Just because we didn't work out doesn't mean it's a loss for either of us. I want you to succeed in life as much as I want to succeed myself.

I also had a dream where you were laughing, a belly-full laugh, exquisitely happy.

You were the slow flame kind of love. There were no sparks in your presence. I only felt the warmth and comfort like the gentle heat of a hearth on a cold night. And oh, the mouth full of kisses. For all these years, I didn’t realize that my version of normal was like holding my breath under icy, dark waters. Kissing you felt like finally surfacing, taking in a deep, real breath - truly breathing. Like I could finally put something down and just be, without the weight of pretense. I had forgotten what desire rushing through my body felt like. Maybe even the feeling of being wanted. But I don’t really know if I ever knew that one.

I still cherish the fleeting moments when I could pretend you were mine, even though I always knew our time together was borrowed.

There are countless words left unsaid, but I know that no words could convey more of what this was than the silence between us. 

That being said, I'm just so glad you exist. I wish you love.